Elgarajederojo

When girls are all the same and only thing different is how do they look, why do I even bother? They are all the same.
Yes I have failed once again this time. And I hate it. I swear I'm really done with girls and won't chase them anymore.
Who said relationship is the only thing you can have when you're young, but what if when you can't have one? Fuck. 
Someone said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I do agree. They don't kill me physically, neither mentally and those fails do make me stronger, but in a different way. It only strengthens a monster inside me that is made of my hatreds and doubts towards girls. Each failure give that monster a stronger armour. 
Lately I've been thinking about getting a lobotomy. Seriusly. The surgery that removes your frontal lobe. Which is the part of brain where controls all the emotions. I thought maybe getting rid of that part would help me to not have vain hopes about girls and romance. 
2016 has been a really rough year for me. Especially about feelings. Since I got struck by that fucking spring feeling I'm still suffering from that shit, when I'm standing at the gate of winter. I really do hope this winter is colder than ever so that coldness might freeze the spring feelings away.

Well, it's been a while since I wrote last journal. And I'm kinda asking help through this journal. Kinda embarrassed to write about this, but hell, I'm writing it anyways.

So as some of you may know, I've never been in a relationship, and I'm completely fine with it. But so very awkwardly, this spring those passing by couples catching my eyes and I feel like I wanna date someone, and been showing abnormal behaviors such as starts and trying talking to a girl you've never met before.

I mean, SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING AND WHAT IS THIS FEELING?!

I'm really hoping that this feeling is just a passing by spring feeling and I'm trying to suppress that feeling because I do know and realize that kind of feeling is something I shouldn't have, and it will not help me in any ways, but it's not that easy.

So... I hope you write me some comments. any tips and comments are welcomed.

(FYI, I didn't capitalized valentine's day on purpose.) 

Oh man, I really need something much more powerful than I've mentioned on last year to destroy this day... Like twin-linked Mk.19 40mm grenade launcher, combined with twin-linked M-134 minigun.

Just so you know, by purchasing chocolate for your lover, (unless you're buying a fair-trade one) you're contributing exploitation of children in Africa, and make insurgents that kills innocent people and burns down village for money smiles, and fill their pocket.

INSTEAD OF BUYING CHOCOLATES I BOUGHT ROLLIEZ.

steffiebee0.deviantart.com

She's a friend of mine and have awesome portfolio and personality too  

can suck my car's engine oil. And 14th marketing in Korea can suck my car's power steering fluid too.
So today is valentine's day, and we had lotsa visitor who wanted to see their boyfriend. AND DAMN I HAD TO SPEND THE WHOLE MORNING IN THE CAR, DRIVING THEM TO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN HALL AND BASE. IN THE MORNING I DROVE 20 MILES, and while LISTENING THEM WHISPERING AND DO ALL THE DAMN SHIT IN THE BACKSEAT WHILE DRIVE THEM TO THE HALL WAS SUCK.
Just know that by purchasing chocolate (unless you're buying a fair-trade one) you're contributing exploitation of children in Africa, and make insurgents that kills innocent people and burns down village for money smiles, and fill their pocket.